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Blog Debate: War In The Comment Section
October 6, 2008
Recently we spoke about building a community on your blog and how to get more comments and RSS subscribers.
Today I want to talk about a similar topic that has to do with negative comments on your blog and how you deal with them.
I mentioned how I feel blogs are a 2 way platform for communication between bloggers and their readers, and how this feature kicks a Website’s butt.
But, who’s to say the comments are going to be positive?
So today I want to have a blog debate, and I would like for you all to share your opinions on the subject.
Personally, I’m yet to receive a negative comment on this blog, but according to others, at some point, sooner or later — it’s bound to happen.
Since I’m not experienced in this matter at all, I can give you what I feel is morally the right thing to do, but what I really want is my reader’s advice.
It seems whether your post is accurate and informative, there will always be a person to “bash” you for something — even though everyone else enjoyed the post. I guess these sort of people are just “blog bullies”. They just want to be negative — I guess.
Haven’t these people ever heard of the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?
I guessing they have, but they just don’t care and do it anyway.
Watching the Presidential and Vice Presidential debate, as well as seeing the negative ads both camps are running, I figured we could have our own debate as to what to do when people are wrongfully being negative towards you.
When I say wrongfully, I’m referring to being a target of negativity when you’ve done nothing negative at all. In other words, the negative comment, or ad in the Presidential campaigns, is wrong about what they’re being negative of.
In a nutshell, they’re lying to make you look bad.
The point of this post is to have a debate on this subject, and if you would be so kind as to participate and leave your thoughts in the comment section, it would be greatly appreciated.
So what do you do if someone leaves a negative comment?
I’ll start off the debate by saying what I would do.
- No matter how negative, unless they’re using extremely explicit words, I will always publish a comment — negative or not.
- I will respond to the negative comment and point out that it’s false and provide proof (link) to prove it.
- If the comment is negative, but correct, I will admit my mistakes no matter how bad I messed up.
- I will let this person know that they are a citizen of Earth, and they’re free to believe whatever they like.
As you can see, my advice is limited on the subject, so I would love to hear what you all have to say.
I’ve seen plenty of “wars” go on in blog’s comment sections and was pretty surprised as to what was being said on both parts — blogger and commenter.
It doesn’t stop there
I’ve seen long, back and forth attacks between both parties, where the blogger responds back, but then the commenter comes back for more — and brings even more negativity along with them.
I’ve seen this happen on several blogs, and I would link to them, but I’m not sure either parties would be too fond of that — besides, I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen our fair share of wars in the comment section.
In other cases, I’ve seen the blogger become just as negative as the commenter, and they’ll add 10 comments of their own to the post just arguing back and forth. I don’t think it’s very wise and it’s not something I would do, but I’m figuring the blogger simply wants to defend themselves.
Sometimes it’s so interesting, I’ll go and research whatever it is they’re arguing about to see who really is right or wrong, but I never go and point it out — I don’t want to become a target and it isn’t any of my business anyway. 
So what do you do when there’s a war in your comment section?
Do you publish the comment? Do you respond back? Do you get just as negative if you know you’re right? How do you handle the situation? What steps would you give to people like myself who aren’t too sure what to do since it hasn’t happened to them yet?
Let the debate begin!
Debate is good if you foster it well. Profanity, if done in anger, however, should never be allowed in a civilized discussion.
Louis, I am like you and have yet to encounter a Negative Ned on my site. But like older people say, “Just keep living!” Well, in our case, “Just keep blogging!”
It is bound to happen. I like to think that I would respond with some class and address the issue to find out what the real source of the problem is. As you mentioned, if the person is correct, I don’t have a problem admitting when I am wrong. After all, my blogging process is all about growth for me, the readers, and participants. So, if the information is on point, what can you do but admit the truth?
However, if the person is just being negative for negative’s sake; I think that I would engage them and point out my view point, offer for them to maintain theirs, but asked specific questions for an explanation.
If the person insist on just being negative and boarderline foolish, the I would probably delete the comment. My blogging is about positivity and harmony, at least that is my vision, and this type of back and fourth would be detrimental to the community I am looking to build.
Don’t get me wrong, I will defend myself because I am no push over. But at some point, this banter is going to be counter-productive and that is what I would want to avoid.
Look forward to hear comments from someone that has experienced this situation.
It really depends on type of comment I think. For some logic works - you just stay calm and other party will either calm down or shoot itself.
Some are pure trolls whose only purpose is to make life harder for you and its better to shut them fast and hard.
No negative comments on my blog (so far) but I had seens way too much negativity on forums. Overall it can’t realyl be generalized, it’s better to treat it case by case.
Writer Dad - I completely agree. I see a lot of people type out their comments with anger. Almost as if there weren’t a computer screen between the two individuals, a fight would break out.
Freddie - Thanks! Those are awesome tips. Asking questions to try and get an explanation out of them would be the perfect way to shut them up — if they’re really just being “trolls” and there comment holds no ground, asking them how they came to their conclusion would certainly leave them at a loss for words. Awesome advice Freddie!
Rarst - I concur, some are far worse than others, and for that reason it’s best treating it case by case. I’ve seen some where logic seems to be inapplicable. Like I said, I would link, but I think it wouldn’t be very nice of me to do so.
I’ve come across some extremely bizarre “wars” in comment sections where both parties seem to hold up their end pretty well.
Thanks guys for being the first to start off the debate! Awesome advice from all of you!
I allow non-profane negative comments. I refute them as calmly and politely as possible with facts. If they bring more negativity after that, I leave the comment up, but I don’t bother to respond. Sometimes my readers come to my defense!
At any rate, I maintain that you haven’t “arrived” as a blogger until someone attacks you.
I really don’t experience this on my blog, but have definitely had a few knock down, drag ‘em outs on a Yahoo group message board or two. And don’t even bother with AOL posting forums. For the most part, just a bunch of ignorant folks that have no constructive outlets in their life on there.
One thing you learn being on the ‘net is that there are a lot of miserable, sick, unhappy people out here, and any opportunity they find to spread some of that, they’ll jump on it.
When you encounter someone online that’s just being nasty, it helps to give back a bit of the nasty yourself, but in a less emotional, more cut right to the bone manner that exposes the truth of why the person is posting nastily and angrily in the first place. No swearing, no name calling, just brutal, sarcastic, biting observations.
So, basically, I respond by stating what I think your real problem is (not enough love and attention from Mommy, or the old stand by “sounds like you just need to get laid. That’s why you’re so miserable”. Attacking their lack of grammar skills and grasp of syntax can also be entertaining, etc.) I know this is just slinging mud, but hey, for me it can be amusing, and if I’m in a combative mood, which I can be every so often, it’s fun.
I would NEVER, however, tolerate such behavior on my blog. You come into my forum acting all dysfunctional, and I just hit “delete”. Problem solved!
I had one person who wanted a debate with me over what religion I raise my children. I threw it back at him and basically said hey they are my kids not yours. Why are you debating me over the relgion I raise my kids on. Ridiculous.
No problem, Louis! Great post!
Great post as usual! I agree and pretty much follow your process for responding to negative comments.
I think honest criticism is a great feature of a blog. Early on we did a post on how to give criticism. "Critical Commenting" over at PlotDog Press. (I’m sorry we used profanity in the title… but given your feedback here I “modified” my language.) Check it out. We all need to be more open to constructive criticism and learn how to help each other not flame each other!
For the most part commenters tend to be pretty supportive out here in the blogosphere, and I’ve mostly seen negative commenting when its personally driven. That is sad. Life is too short and too hard for people to be attacking each other personally. In general I tend to respond to negative comments (on a blog or otherwise) by thanking the person for their input, and if they made specific comments, giving good solid, intelligent, measured responses. Most of the time, that defuses things.
If anyone dared to leave a negative comment on my blog I’d track them down and come to their house and kick their ass.
Nah but I like what was said above.I haven’t got a negative comment per se but one anonymous person said my grammar was terrible and I should hang it up. Hey they were right what could I say but I try to improve.
I like this post as it makes you reflect on the whole commenting thing.I recently shifted my negative opinion of “fake commenting dialogue for comment numbers” to thinking about what you have been writing about the community/commenting aspects of blogging.
So instead of being negative about that multiple comments back and forth I’m actually a little jealous they have people interested enough to flow some chit chat
Live and Learn I guess.
Great post Luis Stumbled Thanks
This is interesting, Luis, something I struggle with all the time. If you haven’t received a negative comment, I feel sure you will (now that’s negative, right). I get them regularly (especially on host reviews) and have learned to handle things like this. I usually approve anything that is not offensive or profane and then follow up with a question asking for more details like “why do you feel this way” or “can you provide more specifics about x.” Usually there is no reply because the person is just venting. Ocassionally, I’ve had to shut down a thread or two because of an argument. In cases like that, I just post explaining to the readers why. Great post!
I just publish the negative comments as it is. Negative or positive and sometimes negative is more good for the blog growth.
>if they’re really just being “trolls” and there comment holds no ground, asking them how they came to their conclusion would certainly leave them at a loss for words
Useless against trolls. They will ignore question or walk in circles. They are not in for conversation, they are in for mayhem.
>One thing you learn being on the ‘net is that there are a lot of miserable, sick, unhappy people out here, and any opportunity they find to spread some of that, they’ll jump on it.
For the record it’s not the net, it’s the planet. People are the same, online doesn’t somehow magically make them worse (maybe bit more loud).
Louis,
This can be a hard problem to deal with. I have dealt with it in different ways. I think it’s ok to publish the comment as long as it’s not profane. When profanity is involved it is a good sign that the conversation is NOT going to be pleasant or productive.
A worse situation is when it spreads to the other person’s blog and they start to call you out on their blog. The best thing to do in that case is to ignore them, because a lot of time what they really want are links from your blog to their blog.
Good conversation you have going…
I will always publish a comment because I think everyone has the right to speak their mind about something. I mean I even appreciate negative comments because criticism is the best way to improve what I’m doing. Don’t want to have a bunch of “yes” men following what I do.
However my experience with negative comments has been kind of funny. I always email the person trying to get some more detail about what they said because I want to improve my work. One person told me to stop writing a blog because it was a waste of time and to focus on things like twitter. I couldn’t believe this comment and asked him to explain further because that’s the opposite of what everyone else says. Well he never responded to my email which makes me laugh because he couldn’t back-up what he was saying.
So in the end I don’t mind negative comments but at least be ready to discuss your thoughts further.
No matter how much negative the comment may be , It depends on how you take it.
Hey Luis.
First of all, I hope you are well. I know I owe you an email response from weeks gone by
Everytime I think I have seen it all in the blogosphere, there is always one more fool to come along. In my experience, I am all for debating a subject (as you know), but when it comes down to name calling and utter negativity, I have not time for that. While I will not necessarily delete the comments, I do have better things to be doing with my time than to respond - sometimes that is all they want!
Good post, great talking point!
Nice debate going on!
I agree with every point you wrote, Luis. One simply cannot please everybody. There will always be people who will try to put you down. The best thing is to take it with a grain of salt. For me, I would publish the negative comment just as long there’s no profanities included. I do believe that there will always be room for improvement, so it’s best to keep an open mind, because sometimes, there’s positive in the negative. And if we learn to distinguish between the two, then there will be healthy discussions.
I Think that leaving negative comments is not nessesarily a bad thing, but it does depend on how it’s done. You are right comments left in anger are no good, but at the same time i also believe that people probably find it easier to type something horrible than literally saying something nasty, so in that respect I suppose you have to see it as a plus that whoever is commenting has been strongly moved by whatever it is you wrote, enough to make them express themselves in a negative manner. At least if you get negative comments you know that the blog must be worth reading, i’d rather bad feedback than no feedback.
Geoff
Lots of great insight here - don’t think there will be any negative comments on this post!
I don’t know about everyone else; but I have the ability to close comments on individual posts (I’ve yet to use this feature, but I have it in case the negativity starts ti run amok).
When do you deal with debates in the comment section?
When doing so only furthers your point or to correct an error that maybe a person has misunderstood your point.
I do not respond to childish comments like “you’re an idiot” but if somebody is not understanding the point.. I will reiterate it in a different manner and hope they return to read what I wrote.
I haven’t had a war yet in my comment section, but have had plenty of negative comments. From ripping my thoughts, writing style, my picks, etc but I always approve. I guess if it’s something way over the top I may consider not doing so, but I think adding the negative points of view only help. Every reader won’t agree, and I think the reader who commented may enjoy that their voice is still heard cause you never know they may love some of the other stuff on the site.
I THINK THIS POST IS STUPID!
now that you have your first negative comment, let’s see how you handle it!!!!
I’m of the thought that folks can have their own opinion, and if it’s a genuine opinion and not just a ploy to get readers or cause trouble, I let it ride. I don’t delete many comments, unless it’s just some spam action going on.
I encourage individual thinking man! Let them be, if they are really expressing an opinion, but if they are just doing it to cause trouble then naaaaaaaaaaaah man…get off my sammiches!
Joe, you are a mess! LOL! “now that you have your first negative comment,”
LOL! Right, let’s throw Louis into the fire and see how he handles the negatives. Just kidding!
Miranda - Your readers are awesome! I’ve seen that happen on other blogs as well. Thanks for sharing!
The Fitness Diva - Out of all the ways of dealing with a negative comment, I like yours the best. Even though I haven’t gotten any negativity on this blog, I have gotten negativity for my comment on other blogs, and not even from the blog owner but from other readers. I tend to point out their grammatical mistakes sarcastically, rather than respond directly to their comment! I think it works well. Thanks for sharing!
Shirley - I agree; they’re your kids!
Freddie - Thanks!
AvidReader - Yeah, let’s do away with the personal attacks! I’m definitely going to check out that post, and we should definitely be helping each other out, instead of “flaming” each other. We shall end the foolishness! Thanks for sharing!
John - LOL! I think I might do the same!
Yes, we must all live and learn. If something doesn’t work, it’s time to move on and try something that will. Otherwise, we’ll be stuck in a monotonous monopoly of our reflections! Thanks for sharing John!
Clickfire - That’s a great way to handle the situation. I think asking for their reason for feeling that way is best in determining whether their comment is authentic or they’re just being trolls. And I definitely agree; host reviews can get a little crazy when it comes to user opinion — it’s a real touchy subject, or so I hear. Thanks for your input! It’s greatly appreciated!
Ramtsam - Interesting way of looking at things.
Rarst - Good point.
George - Thanks! Yeah, I’ve seen it go onto the next person’s blog and it becomes a huge deal and it can really hurt people. But like you said, it’s usually to benefit from the traffic and gain some links while they’re at it. It’s crazy what some people will do.
Jared O’ Toole - Definitely. I publish every single comment, but not if it’s too far out in potty mouth land. This blog is for all ages, and I’m trying to keep it that way, so too many of the wrong words, and that delete button will be pressed — simply for the purpose of young children not coming across them. Besides, one can write out their thoughts, negative or not, without cursing.
I can’t believe someone advised you to quit blogging and do more twittering —
That’s funny! Thanks for sharing!
Nota Bene Consulting - Yeah, ignoring can be a good exercise in this case. It sure is better than stooping down to their level.
Eddiego65 - You make a great point! I’m the same; as long as they don’t get out of hand with the profanity, it’s getting published.
Geoff - Negative comments sure do motivate, And I do like constructive criticism. But the aim is more towards people who are being negative unnecessarily. Where you’ve done nothing wrong, but yet someone is saying you have. That can get pretty annoying, and it can make you look bad when it shouldn’t. But I definitely see where you’re coming from. If the negative comment makes sense, then it sure deserves to be expressed.
Kari - Hey, that sounds like an awesome feature! I don’t think things would get too far out of control to need to do so, but you never know — my friend Clickfire mentioned having to close a few due to things getting a bit out of hand. Thanks for sharing!
B Nelson - Yeah, LOL, those “you’re an idiot” comments — they make me laugh. I’ve seen them all over the place. If I ever get one, I’d just ignore it too. There’s not much to counter on that. Thanks for sharing!
Paul - Well put! You sure handle things better than most, great advice!
Normal Joe - Gee, do ‘ya really? I never knew posts had a level of intelligence.
Normal Joe - How’s that? Did I do good? LOL! You crack me up Joe! I hear you man, if it’s truly their opinion and it holds ground, I’ll publish it. But if they’re out saying things that don’t make any sense just to start a ruckus, then it’s out the window. It doesn’t contribute to the post. Thanks for sharing!
Freddie - LOL! How’d I do Freddie? I chose to go with The Fitness Diva’s method and use a little sarcasm!
I want to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts. The response was amazing! Everyone left great tips and strategies on how to deal with the situation, and it blew me away! I would have never thought of all these great tips on my own! You guys are the best!
Thank you all!
But let’s not stop here. If you just now came across this post, this isn’t over! Let us hear what you have to say! The debate is going great and we want to hear from you!
I have one woman who leaves me rude comments all the time. She calls them “debates” when I ask her why she only has rude stuff to say.
I know for me it drives me up a wall and I can not stand it, but I know if I do not publish her trash she will slander me all over her blog. How do I know? Because I used to delete all of her uncalled for comments and she would blog about it so her readers thought I was wrong.
This is good discussion.
My wife has a blog with a small following and one of her commenters said something that was taken by another commenter as a personal attack. The person who felt attacked sent an email to my wife and said she’d never be coming back to her blog again.
Well this was an established reader and my wife took it hard as well as tried to pull the person back to her blog but couldn’t. Anyway, I told my wife she needs to be a bit more thick skinned and she’s not responsible for how readers read into things. The comment in question was in no way directed at that person. Just a different opinion.
Tara - Wow. I can’t imagine what that’s like. People using their blogs to speak about their personal blog “wars’ is just wrong and shows the person needs other means to explain themselves — guess the comment section isn’t enough for them. Thanks for sharing Tara!
Bill - Thank you! Wow, again. That’s crazy. I think that person, who thought it was a “personal attack”, just has problems. Anyone who reads a post, and randomly feels it’s about them, has some issues, and probably needs a therapist. Your wife did the right trying to get the person to stick around and explaining it wasn’t a personal attack — if the person still wouldn’t listen, then hey, that’s on them.
Thank for sharing!
Luis, I am late, but you did great. It is sometimes difficult to blog when the Sammich man is throwing Sammiches at you!